Life after death

April 12, 2010 at 11:12 am (general life)

Everyone except Gandalf is dead (I should probably mention for new readers that Gandalf is a Siamese fighting fish).

I’d already moved Gandalf to a different container, so this means I can clean out the fish tank of death, get closure, and start thinking about how I would have set up the tank if I’d known two weeks ago what I know now. I’m quietly excited about doing it right this time – taking my time to sift through the incredibly conflicting advice that caused me so much trouble. A part of me feels that I should never be allowed near fish again, but it’s pretty easy to tell that one bad experience shouldn’t define me. So I won’t let it.

I spent yesterday watching the lingering deaths of creatures under my care. (That’s almost certainly Gandalf’s fate, too, although it’s hypothetically possible he’ll get better.) Today can’t help but be a better day than that. Plus it’s a weekday, which means I just might get a reply from a publisher today (it’s two months yesterday since I was told that “Stormhunter” was getting discussed by the two heads of the children’s department of a big publisher).

My official weekly weigh-in is tomorrow, but I see friends (and thus chocolate) on Mondays, so it’s likely I’ll eat too many corn chips to compensate (I’m allowed to eat corn chips, cheese, nuts, fruit, etc in whatever proportions my self-control can manage) – so I weighed myself today, just in case things go horribly wrong tomorrow morning. I now weigh 81.9 (I ate a LOT of cheese on Saturday, but exercised for twice as long on Sunday). This means I am no longer the heaviest I’ve ever been. It also means that if I lose .4 today I’ve lost two kilos this week (something that’s only ever possible in the first week of dieting, so I’m definitely going to try with all my heart).

I’m at the point in a diet where I do feel faint and hungry and I still instinctively reach for chocolate before remembering I’m not doing that at the moment – but I feel good. I know I’m getting somewhere, and I know that everything I eat will taste twice as good as usual. And eating vast quantities of chocolate certainly isn’t good for anyone’s self-esteem, so I feel better about myself each day I eat properly.

I’m trying not to think about how far I have to go. Hopefully I’ll be in the 70s by the first week of Term 2 (two weeks away, so perfectly plausible). Then I’ll decide whether to continue being strict, or to take a couple of weeks to eat moderate amounts of chocolate before another push into the mystical Healthy Weight Range.

I’m getting some cramps etc, so I’m still sick – but my metabolism is back, so I don’t care. Three cheers for Fel’s metabolism!

PS I JUST received my latest test results, and apparently I’m massively constipated (and that’s why I have diarrhoea? Whatever. . .) So I’m to go on a laxative for a week, and drink a lot of water and eat a lot of fibre. I won’t blog about the process (you’re welcome), but I’ll let you know in 1-2 weeks if it worked. The cool part is that it confirms my notion that this illness was causing weight gain, especially in the belly area.



  1. Ann said,

    Nice…. You should lose quite a bit of weight when you get rid of that……

    Sorry about the fish…. Put the tank out in the sun when it’s empty so the UV can assist in killing nasties.

    Congrats on the weight loss to date. I pulled on pants this morning and discovered that my stress induced diet is working well…. Distinctly looser than this time last week..

  2. Louise said,

    I’ll go on laxatives immediately after I weigh myself tomorrow, so things have a chance to even out before next week’s official weigh-in.

    Congrats on your own. . . not that I’d recommend the stress you’re under.

  3. Barbara Banks said,

    Your positive thinking shines through which is a powerful tool for change. I’ve learnt along life’s path that we are not merely victims of circumstance but it is our choices which allow us to take control and affect our own lives in a positive way. I was 38 when I realised this so you have time on your side!

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