Playing “House”

March 30, 2010 at 11:14 pm (general life)

What disease do I have? It’s terribly mysterious.

Generally, I get sick when I visit Indonesia. That’s food poisoning. But food poisoning goes away. This thing hasn’t.

Diagnosis fail.

Must be giardia! But, after an allergic reaction to the medication (and the whole “not getting better” thing) it turns out two tests have come up negative for giardia.

Diagnosis fail.

I feel like rubbish, I wake up nauseous, I’m getting hormone headaches, and my belly is expanding like I’ve stuffed a pillow under my shirt. But no, I’m not pregnant. This is pretty clear since I’m menstrually regular, I’ve taken FOUR pregnancy tests, and CJ is nauseous too – last I heard, pregnancy is non-infectious. (Plus I’ve just switched contraceptive methods, so naturally my hormones are mad at me.)

Diagnosis fail.

Stomach cancer? Nah – stomach cancer doesn’t hit suddenly and viciously, then get much milder. Also it’s unlikely to have jumped from me to CJ. And I’ve no family history of cancer. Plus it’s not something you “pick up” in Indonesia.

Diagnosis fail (much as I half-wish my giant belly was cancer rather than chocolate).

My fun theory of the day is sulphur poisoning from the massive stinky cloud around Mount Bromo. CJ and I visited it the day we both got sick (also altitude sick, but that’s something that I’ve had and recovered from before), and spent about three hours in the rain nearby (ie the rain carried the sulphur onto our skin, plus breathing it in).

Sulphur poisoning can cause intestinal upsets, and hormonal stuff too.

Sad to say, fun though the concept is, sulphur is something the body has naturally, and would probably have self-regulated by now. Still, a fun theory, don’t you think? That the national park made me sick.

In other news, I strained muscles in my leg falling down the stairs yesterday.

Also yesterday, I had a fun car accident (the kind where no-one is hurt and the car has no important damage). Aqua-planing is a little bit like flying, and strangely calming.

“Huh. I’m gonna crash now. May as well relax and hope for the best.”

I feel like there’s some kind of metaphor for life in there.

PS The metaphor for life is probably, “GET OFF THE FRIGGIN ROAD YOU INSANELY BAD DRIVER.”

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1 Comment

  1. Ann said,

    I found aquaplaning reasonably fun until I ended up doing a fairly interesting 180 spin and ended up in the other lane, thankfully facing the right way. And no other cars in the vacinity!!!! But the floating bit at the beginning was fun… Kinda….

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