August 6, 2009 at 12:20 pm (Mental illness)

I don’t think I’m especially good at writing. My improvements look huge to me, but I gather from my latest Allen & Unwin near-miss rejection that I’m actually a slow learner – Allen & Unwin has been giving me detailed semi-annual rejections for years (usually a different book each time, as I think, “NOW I’ve got it!”) and I think they’re sick of it.

Not sure if anyone would buy my books even if they were in shops right now. There’s so much luck to the whole process – the cover and placement (in shops) are more important than the book itself, at least for the first five hundred sales (after that there’s word of mouth, which is perhaps 60% influenced by skill).

This twitter thing really is a dumb idea. It’s a lot of work, and it’s highly unlikely I’ll get anywhere.

The story is weird. Not sure if people can handle it. Not sure if it’s a good story or just a well-written writing exercise (faugh!)

At some point, I’ll give up on this epic adventure (I’ll finish the story – it’s already written, anyway – but the wheels of my personal promotion engine will slow and stop). It’ll be embarrassing when I stop believing, given how much I’ve done on this project. (It is of course possible that when I give up the tipping point will happen and all my work will suddenly pay off.)

All I can really do is keeping working on this promotion thing, be grateful for all the support I’ve been given (from friends and the media), and hope something gives. And remind myself of the dozens of stories I’ve sold, and of the general flavour of comments I get from industry professionals.

Today I received two points of contact from children I’ve taught in the last fortnight – from two different schools. I don’t think either one is actually following me on twitter, but the fact that they’ve remembered who I was when they went home is probably the most encouraging sign I’ve had this week (plus about twenty more twitter followers – most of whom I didn’t recognise, but I don’t think they were from schools because of the time of day they joined).

Two girls at today’s school asked me if I was famous, which amused me very much. I said that no, I didn’t have a limo, but yes, I had stuff online.

Here’s the video of the flashmob (which has quite a few views on it):



  1. Ann said,

    Dont let it get to you – take comfort from the fact that there are heaps of published even famous authors who in reality cant structure a sentence properly let alone an entire book……

  2. felicitybloomfield said,

    When you think about it, that’s REALLY depressing.

    On the up side, I’ve finished this insane week, and so far I have only one school lined up for next week (easy peasy).

    I think I’ll go to sleep now.

  3. Ben (Crispin) said,

    As Rimmer would say…
    *Incredibly Insightful* “You’re UNHAPPY… aren’t you?”

  4. Kevin said,

    Look on the bright side. Just not too closely or you’ll burn your retinas and well that’ll really cramp your writing now wouldn’t it. (Sorry sometimes I can’t help myself).
    Rejection happens as you are wll aware of. It sucks big time but it happens. So pick up your chin and keep smiling. One way or another things do have a way of working out.

  5. Fel said,

    not actually unhappy, just pausing for rationality. It either makes me look less dumb if things don’t work out in the end, or it makes me look even more impressive if things DO work out.

  6. Ann said,

    Hmmm… I really wasn’t trying too be depressing. I do find it surprising that some people manage to get their work published when it is complete trash when others with talent cant. Maybe we should start a fund – Fel’s vanity publishing fund….. Once its out there, people will love it!!!!

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