Lost and Confounded

August 3, 2009 at 8:26 pm (Uncategorized)

Yesterday I got into the car to go and promote my twitter tale at another school. The route was remarkably simple – from the main road I travel on almost every day, I had just two turns to make (both to the right).

I cunningly made a wrong turn.

I cunningly confirmed the turn was correct by observing the name of the first street was correct (it happens to join that street and the correct one).

I cunningly continued driving for another twenty minutes, telling myself that the street looked different because of the time of day (um. . . ).

I cunningly drove into the wrong state of our fine country.

I cunningly realised my error at precisely the time I was due to begin my day’s work at a school I have never worked at before – where one of my new aunt-in-laws teaches, and had recommended me (based on – what? My ability to drink champagne at family events?)

I cunningly realised that I didn’t have any possible numbers to call to tell anyone relevant what was going on.

I cunningly discovered that neither did my husband. And his mum’s phone was, by then, switched off. Because she was at work.

I did find my way – rather easily, it must be said. I even parked in the right carpark (the teachers’ one). I may have been hyperventilating a little as I grabbed my bag, keys, and phone and hurriedly stumbled out of the vehicle.

I cunningly sensed something was wrong.

I cunningly looked at the keys in my hand (I’ve locked them in the car – in the keyhole – once already since beginning work on the twitter tale).

Nope. They weren’t in the car. In fact, the car door was still open.

And moving.

The car was rolling steadily backward on a collision course with a perfectly innocent van.

I cunningly stared at it, thinking I was imagining things.

I cunningly dived in through the open door and grabbed the handbrake. (Again with the superhero moves.)

I drove the car back, put it in park, but the handbrake on, and went to work.

And the day went well. I’m teaching at the school again today.

I think there’s a moral to this story. Too bad.

Today I’m “riding with the red baron” (which makes standing up – while, for instance, teaching – painful). I’m also sitting, at 6am, at the hosue where I’ll be overnight nannying all this week (the mum just left and at least one child is still crying). I’m also teaching at three more schools on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday – while also tutoring, and editing the twitter tale.

What could possibly go wrong?

I think the key is to plan my breakdowns – rather than weeping and cursing spontaneously at a crowd of 10-year olds, I’ll spend my afternoons eating, crying, and sleeping (between class teaching and private tutoring sessions). That will probably get me through until Saturday, when I can do it all day.

Last night my partner and I edited the flashmob video, so I’ll be posting it various places (beginning with my other blog – twittertales.wordpress.com) this afternoon (hopefully).

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