Naked Man in the Bushes

June 11, 2009 at 10:38 pm (Free story) (, , )

Ben (no longer anonymous, you fool!) often starts conversation with, “Today, on the bus. . .”

This causes people who know him well to duck and cover. There’s something about Ben that makes the crazies congregate, and the public bus system helps it happen. Here’s a (published) story that actually happened to him. . .

“Naked Man in the Bushes”

There’s not much to do in Canberra.

     I walked home from Belconnen Interchange on a Wednesday night. It was ten o’clock, so there were no more buses. Drunk men were everywhere, and they all seemed to be stalking their ex-wives. They talked to contacts on mobiles. ‘Yes, she’s going toward Ginninderra Drive now. See if you can head her off.’

     My concern rose significantly when I noticed an adult male crouching in bushes by the roadside. He was nude.

     I kept my eyes forward and debated whether or not I should call someone. Unable to remember the number for the naked stalker hotline, I walked by on the other side of the road. A second naked man burst from a tree immediately in front of me and sprinted to the traffic island splitting Belconnen Way.

     ‘Marco!’ he yelled.

     ‘Polo!’ came the reply.



  1. Ben (Crispin) said,

    …Yes, it was a slightly disturbing experience…

  2. Ann said,

    I can see him sitting on your couch telling this story now!!!!!!!!

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